I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
