Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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