even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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