i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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