I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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