Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
