Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
