What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
