she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize