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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed

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• (407): View more from Florida

  You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.

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• (555): View more from

  I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom

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