Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
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If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize