She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
