i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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