you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
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I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
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The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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