addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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