If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize