remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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