atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
