The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize