11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
