My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
