it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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