so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
