I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
