I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
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so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.