If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.