There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wanna passion pit in your ass
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
