Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"

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  (503): My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin" http://tfl.nu/dw59
  Replies (12) Good night (664) Bad night (5333)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.

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  (908): girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/ba5j
  Replies (8) Good night (804) Bad night (4435)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  How many people did you send this to?

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  (773): CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;) (1-773): How many people did you send this to? http://tfl.nu/e1gk
  Replies (11) Good night (4470) Bad night (541)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....

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  (704): you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face.... http://tfl.nu/3wos
  Replies (24) Good night (1200) Bad night (3648)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.

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  (503): my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew. http://tfl.nu/fdzr
  Replies (88) Good night (5456) Bad night (813)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.

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  (339): I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion. http://tfl.nu/m237
  Replies (93) Good night (5297) Bad night (2040)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.

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  (618): he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever. http://tfl.nu/csmh
  Replies (14) Good night (4774) Bad night (621)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?

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  (801): Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch? http://tfl.nu/p8up
  Replies (12) Good night (5132) Bad night (1391)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it

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  (615): Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it http://tfl.nu/48wy
  Replies (10) Good night (1085) Bad night (3344)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  ..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing

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  (709): ..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing http://tfl.nu/8uai
  Replies (6) Good night (2785) Bad night (794)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar

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  (937): It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar http://tfl.nu/zdja
  Replies (5) Good night (1465) Bad night (534)
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  (707): View more from California

  He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you

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  (707): He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you http://tfl.nu/2xma
  Replies (2) Good night (778) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML

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  (780): If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML http://tfl.nu/m3i8
  Replies (8) Good night (1477) Bad night (411)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household

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  (425): Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household http://tfl.nu/3bng
  Replies (5) Good night (880) Bad night (266)
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  (707): View more from California

  Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.

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  (707): Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard. http://tfl.nu/vbbc
  Replies (2) Good night (434) Bad night (228)

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