he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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