He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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