when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
did i walk over a car last night?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
