I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
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so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
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After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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