hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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