He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize