i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
love makes seman taste better
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
