K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
