lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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