Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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