He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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