i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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