She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
