Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
