yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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