Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
