Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
