the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
