Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
