you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
