There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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