you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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