maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
