Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
