Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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