hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
