Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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