Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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