Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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