you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
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why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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