Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
