ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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